There’s this philosophy that people seem to live by and it states, “Those who are not aware of history are doomed to repeat it.”
Repetition can be a great or terrible thing for everyone depending on what it is that you find yourself repeating. However, I feel like repetition isn’t positive or negative. I believe it to be more necessary than unnecessary because it is a key component of finding the meaning of life. Well, not necessarily life itself but the progression thereof.
However, humanity as a whole has decided that repetition is detrimental. Sure, there is something to be said about being confident in the circumstances. It isn’t wise to argue the merits of being in familiar territory and the more I see these circumstances unfold and analyze the dynamics, the more I feel that as much as we hate being “stuck,” we find substantial value in the familiar.
This idea of “progress,” as demonstrated, isn’t anything more than a cyclical expression of linear advancement. But, I’m the type of person, and I suppose I’ve always been as such, to believe our existence isn’t necessarily linear. There are aspects of living that are linear such as how we age or our perception of time, perhaps. Our own history, if we reduce it to a personal level, suggests that we “move” along “paths” that are conducive to the choices we make and in doing so, we fail to deviate from “inescapable conclusions.”
I hate this practice that life is linear. I don’t understand why we even bother with using it in a descriptive manner. Especially when we use words like “again, “repeat,” “anew,” and “recurring.” Granted, there are more than just those but those are pretty strong indicators that life, and to an extensive degree the act of living, is insatiably cyclical. Isn’t it scary that at a fundamental level everything you’ve done today, you’ve already done yesterday and you’ll invariably do tomorrow? There’s no intrigue in knowing what will come if you’ve already mapped the plane in which this action is executed. Consequently, if you know what’s coming and don’t take action to adjust, the conclusion will invariably be a result of cyclical reasoning on a singular, linear plane. I guess it makes sense to call them life “cycles” and time “lines” after all. If we are just going to repeat the same things in a singular trajectory, then the novelty of living will just lose its luster.
So, to that end, there’s another saying, “If you want different, you have to be different.”
I agree with this one as well. However, it isn’t within human potential to achieve the kind of different we would want. Sure, we can be unique in the aspects that our journies are our own and that our choices give definition to it all. I get that. I understand that. But, are our goals really all that dissimilar? I believe it to be safe to say that a life full of adventure, happiness, and fulfillment are goals to be worthy of achievement. Everybody wants those things. Everyone endeavors to find solutions to those issues. But, that’s the burning issue: Everyone wants those things. Everyone pursues them zealously. Perhaps, even to a point where they are willing to compromise their integrity to acquire them.
That, my friends, is what I’ve become bored with and the sheer lunacy of it all. Hell, for those who don’t know: Life is a zero sum game. Your loss is someone else’s gain or vice versa. Yes, that’s the way it is. No, it will never be different because of what your own nature. You’re tasked to do one or multiple things and you train yourselves to believe that if you don’t do these things, you won’t be fulfilled. Thus, enabling your opposition to assume ownership of missed opportunities.
Worse yet, it offers confirmation in something I’ve already come to understand: Life and the act of living are obscenely unilateral and one dimensional. The sad thing is that we all know it. We show it every single day. We’re unhappy with a position or circumstance and voice our disposition only for those who make decisions favor those who don’t. We leave our spouses or careers only for them to find a different match (Note, I did not say better or worse. I do so for a reason.) and achieve the goals that you weren’t able to achieve had you remained.
For a civilization who thrived on revolution and a need to progress beyond the status quo, we sure do shy away from advancement and the human compulsion to extend ourselves beyond what we are.
Which leads to the nugget:
So, the other day, I had a conversation with a friend about how I was bored. Well, I had two conversations and one of which determined how I was bored. The other, which is the relevant one, was about how I would address this boredom. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with my plan of action and would make the attempt to dissuade me. Much to his chagrin, I made it as succinct and clear as I could that my decision was final. But, I do commend his objectivity and the necessity to voice his discontent with it. He’s human, after all. He stood, and still does stand, to lose something he values. Who wouldn’t want to try and protect something of value?
In the effort, he said many things that are relevant and important. But, one thing he did say was this:
You’re my friend and I love you. But, you wanting what you do doesn’t vibe with me and I will sure try to convince you (whether by softballing or hardballing you) that this isn’t what you want. In doing these things, I hope you consider what you’re doing to those around you who want what is best for you.
As much as I like the guy and he’s done so much for me in many areas. But, that statement is a testament as to why I no longer am able to take any man (or deity for that matter) at their word. Just another dot on the line… just another turn of the wheel… just another reset. I’m not interested in a reset and it’s hard to renew interest in something you consciously choose to abstain from and abhor absolutely.
The second thing I got from that is a lot more wrenching than an apparent inability to trust another. It’s that a person’s interest in you, whether it be faux or genuine, will only go as far as their intention or vision will let them. This is why humanity bores me. It’s this ease to define and make decisions for others without their consent, knowledge, or insight. It’s manipulative, devious, and infantile. Before you go off and accuse me of a degree of hypocrisy, let me defend my position by saying this: There is a difference between being maneuvered, being restricted, and being open. I absolutely hate being maneuvered. Sometimes, the situation is restricting. But, being able to act freely is refreshing and not conducive to the human condition. As sad as it is to say, we won’t ever be in a position in which the sum of who or whatever we are won’t be a result of an intent or vision of someone else.
Nobody said that humanity was perfect but everyone will say that it is flawed. I do not agree with that assessment. I would say that humanity is unilateral and one dimensional and I won’t go as far to say that is a problem. Humanity is what it is.
But, if history has taught me anything, it would be this: We all look to the future for answers and direction is relative. But, there is no such thing as the unknown. There are only things temporarily hidden.
However, there’s nothing hidden from the eyes of history.
What a delightfully vicious cycle this life is…