“Destroying an empire to win a war is no victory and ending a battle to save an empire is no defeat.”
-Robert O’Reilly as Chancellor Gowron
This one is one of my favorite quotes from anything, ever. It’s a testament to just how far we really go to get what we want or really what we need.
Anybody who knows anything about the meaning behind “The needs of the many” know that the here and now isn’t as important as the broader view of what’s going on. The whole will always be more important than any one specific thing, no matter how pivotal that thing may or may not be.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Anything important is worth defending and I won’t dare say that it isn’t. But, we as people tend to go so hard to defend or perhaps even to gain what we believe to be worth having it can compromise our own personal integrity. After all, we can be so driven to pursue these things to a point where personal regard and safety become secondary. We just won’t care what we lose as long as we achieve the goal.
We all have that hinderance. It can be money, material things, relationships, hobbies, or basically anything else we can think of. Mine just happens to be women. I won’t get into it; but, suffice it to say that it had become an increasingly threatening issue. One so threatening that it does have the power to unravel everything I’ve tried so hard to build.
I will say this: Nothing is so powerful that it can demolish a life unless we let it be. It’s not always easy to draw the line in terms of sacrifice or victory because winning isn’t everything or not even necessarily the point. In terms of any conflict, winning doesn’t always prove anything except that you’re able to subdue and overpower your opponent. The deeper meaning of any conflict is to resolve the issues and achieve a mutually beneficial result. The process can be long and tedious or short and to the point. But, however long it can be it just has to be observed.
Being reckless in pursuits of things can be enlightening. We’ll take shortcuts, make deals, or just try and skip right to the bottom line and figure out the rest later. Perhaps even cheat our way to the desired goal but really at what cost? It’s the real question that we must ask ourselves.
I’ve given up a lot to get things I thought I wanted, needed, or deserved. I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve had to do to get them and in the end, the price paid for them was much more than I expected. The sad thing about it is that I didn’t realize just how much I had been affected until after the ruin and the devastation left in its wake. It’s shocking to see just how things can be disjointed and laid to waste after such harmful pursuits.
It was only after making this mistake many times that I figured out that some things just aren’t worth the chase. They really aren’t because we will chase these things for selfish gain. Sure, we do things for ourselves and that’s fine and dandy. But, what I’m talking about are things that have the potential to change our very identity.
As I’ve said before, if your dreams aren’t bigger than you then your dreams aren’t big enough. It plays into this because we do things that support the construction of that dream. For example, if we wanted to build a family with Person A, then all of our actions will support a conclusion to meet that end. Furthermore, if we’re not honorable enough to take actions that can be nurturing to that end, we would be capable of almost anything to get it. Lying, cheating, and stealing are just the beginning with the possible endgame being tyranny and violence towards anyone or anything that opposes it. I’m guilty of manipulating and maneuvering my way to get what I want. I’m not proud of that either. Only at the end did I realize what I had done and hope to not witness or be a part of myself again.
There’s a difference between accepting defeat and letting something go. Most people would say that they’re one in the same. Though, I do agree in most things it can be an awfully similar experience. But, my own personal experience tells me that the difference between the two simply and succinctly is the value you place on perpetuating conflict. If you know you’re in a position that is advantageous and can yield positive gain or even change, you’d possibly feel defeated if those who oppose you can affect the decision on how to proceed. Conversely, you’d let something go if you knew it wasn’t worth further effort or just knew it to be toxic or in a position to stymie progress. Any man who knew a woman that was “hard to get” knows exactly that kind of situation. Especially when they’ve felt the misery of not wanting to let it go before it just got too out of hand. I’m guilty of that one too!
Really, the bottom line is just knowing what to fight for and when to fight for it. There isn’t anything wrong with passing on an opportunity if you don’t think it’ll be the proper thing for you. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time with the one you have so you can best utilize the opportunity.
But, there is something wrong letting these opportunities and an unhealthy pursuit changing your reasons. These types of things aren’t meant to just serve us individually. There’s more to them than that and just being selfish with them ruins their nature as well as our own. If we can’t take care of them, we have to let someone who can do so. It’s a painful and humbling experience, to say the least. One of which I’m still getting used to…