“It takes courage to look inside yourself, and even more courage to write it for other people to see.”
-Avery Brooks as Captain Benjamin Sisko
I have a huge problem with self-expression. My thoughts are my own and I still believe that ultimately they may mean absolutely nothing. But, having been affected the way I have been by others both real and fictional alike, I do have hope that anything I may have spoken may create an opportunity for change in someone else.
I love Star Trek. I have been hooked on it since day one. I’ve seen every movie. I’ve seen every series. I know the majority of it all backward and forwards. The concepts it puts forth places humanity in such contrast to how it exists now. It’s hard to believe that as conflicted as we are now, it poses a possibility that we may one day exist as a utopian society. This, above all else, really gives me hope for our future.
Why Star Trek? Well, it’s what I enjoy watching. More to the point, it shows what life could be like for all of us. No suffering. No war. No anguish on a societal level. Everyone is treated with kindness, dignity, and respect. Humanity is united under a common goal. It’s an amazing feat to see, even if it is a piece of creative fiction.
I don’t expect anyone to share in or even agree with one single word I’ve written in this book. I didn’t do it to conscript followers or have a fan base. I didn’t do this because of any potential financial gain or notoriety. But, I will admit that if this lead to all of those things, I wouldn’t complain. My finances are pretty horrible anyway. I don’t know about whoever reads this, but I could use every penny that I could get my hands on. Never did care much for fame, however.
I just wanted to do something I hadn’t ever done before. I’ve always talked about writing a book but I never knew what about or what that may even look like. I haven’t finished any kind of project that I had set aside. Something always happened to make me want to give up on it and set it aside. I’ve had many roadblocks with this one as well. But, I felt that this one had an opportunity to be different. Not necessarily because of the challenge it created but rather it had the sparkle to give me something that I haven’t experienced before: To find joy in watching something take shape from the ground up and be a witness of its completion.
I’m not the best writer. I don’t have the best mind. I don’t have the best heart for anything that this world may have to eventually offer me. But, over the course of writing this book, I’ve found that I didn’t have to have the best. I had to do the best with what I have. I did find the best way for me to really take a look at myself objectively. This was the best way to put all of my issues and conflicts out on the table and figure out a way for them to all make sense. More importantly, find a way to resolve them in a way that is beneficial for not just me, but for others who may find themselves in the same boat with me down the road. Furthermore, for those who have read this and may have found some clarity with their own struggles and their own need to go on a similar journey.
I’ve endured many peaks and valleys in Life and many of them weren’t exclusive to me writing this book. I’ve known the exaltation of triumph and the bitterness and sting of defeat. I feel like I’ve died so much but I’ve always been given a breath of new life. So many times I didn’t know what to do with that breath but I’ve always been given another. As a result, I’ve learned that we can’t take for granted the opportunities to utilize the talents we’re given. Especially if we feel like we aren’t competent enough to use them. It is in those moments we are given the choice to grow and we all know growth and change can be very difficult.
As I’ve said before, I’m not perfect. I’m not going to claim that everything in here is correct or even right. I will say that everything in here is correct and right for me. I’ve done my due diligence and I haven’t been able to refute any of it. Everything I’ve gone through was for me to find. Everything I’ve found isn’t necessarily for everyone else. I believe that everyone must go through their own forests and their own deserts to seek what they feel they must find. I know I have and it’s something I must continue to do.
All of these things I’ve spoken of are from my experiences and my perceptions and apply to just me. Though, I’d hope that all of this is useful to those struggling to find their own way back to where they want to be. I’ve been lost before. I’m thankful that through all of these trials, I’ve been able to say that I’m not lost anymore. I have my bearings back. I have my heart back. I know where I’m going because ultimately where I wind up being isn’t what’s important. Enduring the process of getting there is what is important. It makes change relevant. It makes change valuable. It makes change part of who we are.
In closing, I’ll say this: If I could do one thing for anyone, I only wish that whatever I may have spoken or done would create an opportunity for them to learn how to handle their situation better than I have. If I could do this, I feel content and complete knowing that my experiences… or laughable wisdom… have inspired others to take a different path that leads to a different place. Nothing better… and hopefully nothing worse… but something different. In doing so, it offered a new idea, place, or state of being that made the journey to experience these things for themselves worth it. While doing so, carrying on the tradition of those who made this possible. Humanity’s journey is just beginning. I hope that we continue on like those before us… boldly going… where no one has gone before.
“It’s been a long road getting from there to here.”
-Star Trek: Enterprise Opening Credits
Thank you for reading!